Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Hockey Party, Eh!?!

Nothing gets my blood boiling like American sportsmen competing for the ultimate prize: an Olympic gold medal. These past few weeks, I have been glued to the television, with a Molson beer in hand (my tribute to the Olympic host city, Vancouver) and a voice strained by continuous screaming at my USA brethren. My heart palpitates, my fists clench, and I shriek “Come on, you pampered pretty boys!” to all the skiers, snowboarders, and curlers. But, while all sports are a subject of entertainment and stress, no sport can evoke such fear and trauma, nor inspire such joy and triumph as men’s hockey.

The United States hockey team has been having an Olympic season of extraordinary accomplishments. Tapping into my significant American pride, I decided to throw a party celebrating the prowess of these athletes, as well as the rich tradition of the Olympic and the incredible pride I have in the USA. This should certainly prove to be an event for the strong of stomach, and the unrefined in sportsmanly behavior.

For the food served, I believe a palette showcasing the greatest American delicacies as well as a sample of delicious Canadian-themed courses would be most appropriate. I am thinking barbeque would showcase exemplary American foods. Nothing is more all-American than hamburgers and hot dogs, slathered with a healthy dose of ketchup and mustard. Desert for the Olympic affair should be pancakes swimming in maple syrup, a humorous nod to Canadian fare.

Drinks should be low-key and unassuming. This is a hockey party, after all. The most appropriate beverages would be ice-cold beers, of both Canadian and American origin. Molson is my preferred choice for Canadian beers, as I mentioned earlier. As far as American beers, I do enjoy Coors. I am a native Coloradan, after all. But it doesn’t matter what brands of beer are served, as long as they are on ice and served chilled.

In my opinion, food, drink, and an obscenely large big screen television are the only elements required to throw a successful hockey party. Any other party element, such as decorations, would seem incredibly superfluous. So, strap yourselves in for an epic Olympic hockey experience, and invite over some good friends for a truly exciting affair. This is sure to be a party unlike any other, with thrills, chills, and gold medals. Just be sure to quell your anxiety, and remember: it is only a game. Actually, scratch that; go out there, break legs and take names, America! GO USA!

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